Benjamin Franklin’s 7 Reasons Why Small-Breasted Women are Superior
(First published in “Poor Richard After Dark” in 1759.)
- Lightning strikes large objects first. Thus does the almighty instruct us that it is prudent to be modest in all things.
- Man’s discourse declines when distracted by the vista of a large and shapely bosom.
- Sir Isaac Newton studied an apple, not a watermelon.
- The great constructions of the Egyptians, the pyramids, tapered from bottom to top and not the reverse.
- A wife with a smaller bosom will redouble her efforts to please in the kitchen and as a helpmeet.
- Undergarments, with their silken strings, hooks, buckles, frills, garters, buttons, ligamentures and the rest, are more easily removed from a slim and streamlined figure.
- On cold nights, the thermal economy of snuggling is increased when bodies may be more closely press’d together.